Every car fan loves a Cars and Coffee event, car people gather from miles around to attend such events worldwide every weekend bringing with them everything from ultra rare hypercars to hot hatches and everything in between.
These events also bring out a well-known breed of car fans known as car spotters, believe or not some people actually make a career out of car spotting, I have no idea how but they do. You can tell a car spotter from a mile off, GoPro in one hand and DSLR equipped in the other hoping to achieve Instagram or YouTube fortune by filming the simple act of a car being driven or even stationary.
There does seem to be one problem with Cars and Coffee events worldwide, some people simply don’t know how to leave without crashing for all and sundry to capture on their phones or cameras, picture it, there you are at the exit, it’s been a great meet, you’ve had a lot of compliments on your car, you’re feeling good, you get to the exit and decide that some smoky loud showboating is in order, at which point you run out of skill and either (A) crash your prized car into a ditch (B) spin out and crash into a static object, like another car or (C) lose traction in a style so spectacular that it’s not been seen since the drifting Fast & Furious film and then proceed to spin wildly across thankfully empty lanes of traffic before coming to rest near people who have got scared and run away.
Here are some of the more recent epic examples of decision-making at recent Cars and Coffee events:
No one wants to end up like these people; your least proud moment will end up being plastered across the internet with commentators confirming that they think you’re a moron of epic proportions.
Follow these simple steps and you can exit a Cars and Coffee event without achieving infamy on the internet or worse still crashing and possibly hurting yourself and or worse someone else.
Rule 1 – Be cool, don’t be a dick
Being cool is just pulling away at a speed safe for the surrounding environment, lots of people around holding cameras close to the road, slow down, they want to take video or picture so let them do it, I mean, you didn’t go to the event so no one could actually see your car……
Rule 2 – Don’t fucking touch that Traction Control Button
The traction system in your car was likely developed at an R&D cost of several million, it is more skilful than you are at stopping wheelspin or preventing the car from actually spinning out, do yourself and all of us a favour, don’t fucking touch it. Leave it on simple as that.
If you attempt to leave Cars and Coffee with cold tyres and with your traction control turned off then as you give it the beans, boom, you’re off and a hundred cameras are in your face recording your worst nightmare.
Rule 3 – Leave the Mustang at home
I hate to say this, but please for the love of god, leave your Mustang at home, walk, take the bus, ride with a non-Mustang owning friend, anything but turning up in a Mustang that will strike fear into all attendees and have them running for the hills scared for their lives.
I have driven the current V8 Mustang and it’s an amazing car, I just cannot fathom how Mustang owners get it so very wrong when attempting complete the simple task of exiting a Cars And Coffee event. During my drive I can confirm I didn’t crash or spin or die, I drove it like a sane person and all was well with the world.