It’s official, the Chevrolet press office has lost it’s mind in the pursuit of chasing the yoof! market for cars. Somehow in a meeting between people that took place in a meeting room where only bean bags were available to sit on, in this meeting these flannel wearing hipsters came to the conclusion that it was a good idea to issue the press release for the upcoming 2016 Cruze in emoji speak. Yes people I shit you not.

Microsoft Word - 0828-Chevrolet-Cruze-3-Million.docx

Press release from the Chevy web site:

Words alone can’t describe the new 2016 Chevrolet Cruze, so to celebrate its upcoming reveal, the media advisory is being issued in emoji, the small emotionally expressive digital images and icons in electronic communication. Try and decode this news or watch for the decoder at 2 p.m. EDT on Tuesday. #ChevyGoesEmoji

Here is a translation courtesy of The Verge:

Happy person loves car

City car music, stop. Dash city, city, city, city, 11 o’clock in the evening, happy and sad, a new car chicks love. Swap your phone, go bowling with triangles, and gas up for basketball, football, soccer, baseball, tennis, and bicycling. Thumbs-up for new bread, dresses, shoes, lipstick, and dancers who text each other. Cars for businesspeople who text, “I have an idea for a new car on the Earth.”

  • Triangle: I love strong basketball and football championships
  • Phone signal: Seven phones are cool, but look up and read 100 books. Cars love phones. Diamonds will make you squint.
  • Coach seat on an aircraft: Walk, dance, and fix your hair.
  • Gas: 2015: 35 per bridge into 2016. Applause! In six hours, it’ll be the 15th; stocks are rising.
  • Danger: Thinking about purses. OnStar.
  • Car: Soon, flowers.
  • Car: The Earth rotates.

A car travels from day to night, through rainbows, cities, and bridges! Cars, phones, gas stations, rollercoasters. Love it 100 times, check.

Search for 1911 destination city car music, stop. Chevrolet and three Earths. Chevrolet goes to gas stations that you love.

Get sleepy, use a computer and a phone to visit

It’s therefore official Chevy has gone bonkers!